the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
