last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
