You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
not ubering you a puppy
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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