Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
