Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My life is pants optional.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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