I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
