Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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