Having a random hookup so left but love u
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize