I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
