He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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