I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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