Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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