i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
