If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
