Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
