3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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