Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
