Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
