apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
