so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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