How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
