He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
