3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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