i would punch a child for taco bell
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
