You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
