Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
