CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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