the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
