I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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