i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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