i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
