So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
