Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
