it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
God, I missed his penis.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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