i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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