I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
