We're like a lot better than the average bears
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
