Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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