i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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