So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
