Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
