The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
