We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize