hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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