Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
