the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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