glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
accomplished twins. life is a go
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
