i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize