Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
