youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Randomize
