# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
