my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
