i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
