Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
