How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
